A fellow blog reader sent this to share:
Advice to Prospective Parents:
Congratulations to all of you *mildewed* mothers and *grungy fathers*. You are about to give birth to a *gold medal*. Remember, a happy child comes from a happy *seat belt*. The arrival of your *carburetor* will cause many *collapsed* changes in your life. You’ll probably have to get up at four a.m. to give the little *heater* its bottle of *leathery* milk and change his or her *bridges*. Later, when he or she is *1 million hundred* years old and able to walk, you’ll hear the patter of little *ethyl chloride drops* around the house. And in no time, your child will be talking *spookily* and calling you his or her “*pump organ*,” and saying things like, “*Holy torpedo juice!*” right to your face. It’s no wonder they are called little bundles of *squirrel gizzards*.